SYSTEMIC COUPLES AND FAMILIY THERAPIE

Who you'll meet here.

My name is Kornelia Varga-Passarge.

I like complexity. I can hold many things in view at once, make sense of connections, and I’ve also learned not to believe my first, or even my second, explanation too quickly. Because even with a great deal of experience, I’m regularly wrong.

Not knowing is one of my most important guiding stars. I don’t presume to know what your inner world looks like, what an experience means to you, or where your path will lead. What I perceive and understand remains my view of it. I share it with you. And I don’t mistake it for your reality.

And sometimes, you don’t know either. Then we explore the not knowing together and make room for what has yet to emerge in your experience.

Everything I do, I see as an invitation. You decide what meaning, if any, it holds for you.

We may have different roles in this space, but above all, we meet each other as human beings.

Many of the realities people bring to me are ones I also know from the inside.

For more than 16 years, I worked at several renowned management consultancies. I supported international companies through processes of change, worked with senior leaders, and advised owners and successors of family businesses. I loved it: the pace, the travel, the intellectual challenge, and the opportunity to immerse myself in entirely new worlds again and again.

Much of that is still part of who I am today. I’m ambitious, demanding, and curious. I like challenge, responsibility, and the sense that I can shape things and set them in motion.

I also know the reality of two ambitious people sharing a life together very well. My husband and I have been together for almost 30 years. For more than 16 of those years, we both worked as management consultants, with projects, responsibility, travel, different countries, and time zones.

Our relationship has taught me something no training can teach: every couple develops a culture of its own. Its own understanding of what closeness, freedom, sexuality, family, connection, or a life together mean. That culture doesn’t have to conform to any outside idea of what a relationship should look like to feel right for the two people in it.

I’ve been familiar with different realities for a long time.

I grew up in Germany as the child of a migrant worker family and learned early on that belonging and identity can depend on where we’re looking at a person from.

Very different realities existed side by side in my family, too. Perhaps that’s why I learned early on to pay close attention, to hear the nuances, and to let differences stand without needing to resolve them too quickly.

Much of this has shaped the way I see the world. The path to the work I do today, however, began much later, with a change that called my own identity into question.

When my idea of who I was no longer seemed to fit who I had become.

Shortly before my 40th birthday, I found myself in yet another workshop, introducing myself. I told the story I had been telling about myself for years: my experience, my work, my professional role. A familiar story.

But that day, it felt as though the story were about someone else. A few months later, I left management consulting after more than 16 years. I had loved that life deeply, and at the same time, I had felt for several years that something about it no longer felt right for me.

What came next, however, was not a carefully planned new direction. My professional identity had given me a very clear sense of who I was, what success meant, and what my life would look like.

Suddenly, that was gone, and in its place came an overwhelming emptiness. I desperately wanted to fill that emptiness, so I started my own business doing what I had done for the previous 16 years.

One move from Berlin to Stade and three dogs later, I realized that this was exactly what wasn’t working. That some changes can’t be rushed. That not knowing is okay and needs space. And that sometimes something new only becomes perceptible when the next answer hasn’t already been decided.

Much of what ZUKUNFTSMOMENT is today grew out of that time. The name originally came from a simple thought: it is always the right moment to shape your own future.

Today, it means something else to me as well: sometimes the future begins precisely when we don’t yet know what we want it to look like.

PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND & QUALIFICATIONS

In the Starting Point Conversation, we’ll look at what brings you here and what kind of setting might feel right for you.

I work bilingually in German and English, online and in my space in Stade. Weekends, too.

ZUKUNFTSMOMENT is less than an hour’s drive from Hamburg’s Elbe suburbs (Blankenese, Othmarschen, Nienstedten, Rissen) and western Hamburg (Altona, Bahrenfeld, Eidelstedt).

From southern Hamburg, the Harburg district, Lüneburg, and Bremen, the drive takes about 75 to 90 minutes.